Long Overdue

It was by pure chance that I ended up checking out my old blog tonight. It was for no other reason than curiosity that I decided to log in.

Can you imagine my surprise that I received 533 hits last month?

Trust me...I'm a bit gob-smacked myself.

I owe everyone who ever read this little corner of The Internet a massive thank you for having read it, and a massive apology...I shouldn't have stopped doing this.

I'm not making any predictions for the future at this point, but I'd like to think you might see a few more broadcasts from Obscuritan HQ at some point in the future.

Thank you so much!
-Lucas

The Forgotten Atrocity

It is impossible to deny the that World War II changed the world. From Iwo Jima to Stalingrad, the men who fought on both sides shed blood for something they believed, for better or worse. Yet it is difficult to assign any amount of heroism to the acts that went unseen in the eyes of the post WWII world. There are elements of the war that seem to slip through the cracks of history books, moments that those who experienced them would rather forget. But in the interest of history, it is important that these stories be retold, paying to that elder notion of "those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."

Many of the crimes against humanity that were perpetrated through those dark days are still fresh in the conscience of the world, but one story that seems to never be told is that of a isolated location in Manchuria, disguised as a benign water purification facility, that led to the death of 500,000+ human beings: Unit 731.

According to Sheldon H. Harris' Factories of Death, Dr. Shiro Ishii (a physician with the Japanese Imperial Army) took control of a 150-building, six kilometer area outside the city of Harbin, Manchuria in order to conduct experiments on biological warfare. Japan had refused to sign the Geneva Convention's ban against germ warfare in the 1920s, giving Dr. Ishii free reign to try and perfect weapons and delivery systems for virulent plagues. In it's wake, Dr. Ishii allowed for nearly every conceivable manner of war crime to occur; vivisection of the camp's inmates were quite common, as well as experiments on the effects of hypothermia and amputation. In our more allegedly rational times, these sorts of experiments are grotesque and unnecessary.

But justice has, if nothing else, a perverse sense of humor. While most of the camps staff were put on trial and punished harshly, Dr. Ishii was granted immunity from the Tokyo Tribunal of 1948 in exchange for the information he gathered from his experiments. This is not surprising; despite the horrors of the "Final Solution" in Nazi-occupied Europe, scientific findings that came at the expense of the countless victims of the Holocaust has been gathered. It should also be noted for the record that Dr. Ishii would also go on to die in 1959 of throat cancer, after having served as a researcher of bioweapons in Maryland.

While it is human nature to attempt to find some sort of good in any dark time, this leaves us with a question: What is progress worth when measured against human life? Does the wrongful death of thousands of innocents become acceptable in the face of Scientific Knowledge, much of it invaluable for the lives it might save in the future? It is indeed difficult to look to the history of the world without finding a large amount of seemingly pointless destruction, and sadly science is not immune to this.

Author's Note: As a rule, I avoid any sort of serious ethical dilemmas here at The Obscuritan Journal. I don't feel that I have the sort of authority to dictate right or wrong in any sense; but it is impossible to write about such manners without these questions immediately coming to the fore-front of my work.
Further, in light of the gruesome subject matter, I have allowed for this work to be bereft of images out of respect to the victims of Unit 731 and out of respect for my more sensitive readers.

Spider Webs

(I wanted to do something a little different this morning. Instead of posting a short but info-chocked essay, I thought it might be interesting to give you a little insight into the way my mind processes info and comes to conclusions. So everyone, strap in and I hope you have you flak-vests...kidding!)

When I was growing up, the Internet didn't exist. It really didn't start surfacing until I was a teenager, and even then it was still fairly primitive. I recall when a friend of mine had purchased a 24k modem and we thought it was blindingly fast...I don't want to know what it cost in 1995.

But here I am, getting ready to exit out of my 20s and I have to laugh, as I am posting in a blog that ten years ago wouldn't have existed. What slays me about the Internet is that the majority of our culture is now linked together in a vast web, almost forcing the world to take a stance of interconnectivity. And what do we use this new technology for? Jokes and pornography.

To really appreciate the power of the web, I start to think about the concept of an Internet Meme; information that spreads on a viral level. The concept of a meme is not new - there have been millions of pieces better written by far better educated people than me - but the basic idea of a unit of information spreading on a cultural level is powerful and fascinating. It's changed everything, from the way humor develops to story telling. Stories we used to tell around campfires when I was a Boy Scout (yeah, I was a Boy Scout...go figure) have found the way into 1's and 0's and taken on a mythos of it's own. Monsters exist...and they are only a Broadband connection away.

Kill some time on any Paranormal web board and you'll hear of The Slenderman. Youtube, in it's wisdom, has the whole Marble Hornets saga available for anyone looking for a good chill. I linked everyone in my last edition of "World Wide What?" to the very real darkness at the heart of modern Pripayat, Ukraine...if that isn't a sign of what anyone can see if they want, I don't know what is. When I was younger, a kid in the Midwest could never see images such as are available now. Is it any wonder that the generation that came after mine is as peculiar as they are?



We're growing as a people. It only makes sense that our hidden (and sometimes, not-so-hidden) fears might manifest in a place and way that allows us all to share.

World Wide What? 01-10-2011

Chernobyl 25 Years Later offers you a chilling set of photos from one of the worst disasters in Industrial history. Not to be missed or viewed with the lights on.

The End (A Film Review)

One problem that exists for any film-maker with an interest in cinema as art and not entertainment is message.: Will your audience be able to follow you? For this reason, "Art Films" seldom make it into the mainstream. But what becomes of a movie when it is being smothered under the weight of over-extended vision?

Richard Kelly's Southland Tales is a classic example of a film with a vision that, to a wider audience, looks like a hallucination. On paper, Southland Tales has all the makings of a hit: a big-name cast, compelling visual direction, and a strong enough concept to just wild enough to be different and sell. As well, Kelly had scored a big hit with Donnie Darko so a large budget and wide viewership should have naturally followed and been a boon, allowing him to break further into the mainstream. Unfortunately this vision appears to suffer from chronic myopia and falls flat on it's face. Southland Tales almost immediately slips into parody despite every attempt to salvage the effort.

But how does this happen? Wasn't everything in Richard Kelly's favor? How does a director snatch Defeat from the jaws of Victory? The film is primarily an elaborate and unique allegory for The Apocalypse, but it was Kelly's method of dealing with the subject matter and subsequent media presentation that ultimately stifled Southland Tales. The quirky dialog and casting are actually quite charming, albeit bordering on non-sequitor.

Kelly's mistake was believing that the audience could follow him. The movie was preceded by three graphic novels, most of which had never been seen or read (as of this writing, they are out of print) by a wide audience. Furthermore, anyone who lacks more than a passing understanding of The Book Of Revelation will not catch most of the symbolic references. At Cannes, the film was effectively jeered into submission; without bloggers and websites like The Onion's AV Club, the film would have slipped deeper into disrepute and obscurity (and likely would not have seen the latter-day success of Donnie Darko.)

This being said, the movie is worth seeing: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson plays a neurotic action film star with amnesia, Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a porn actress with artistic pretension, and the film is veritably loaded with cameos at every angle. But the charm of such a unique piece is ultimately fatally flawed by the directors lack of direction itself. It would be a stretch to say that Southland Tales is not to be missed, but would be more accurately described as great for late nights and a lot of alcohol.

'Twas the morning before Christmas...

...and all through my apartment, I've been moving. Slowly. Which is funny, considering the lull I have taken through the month of December regarding The Obscuritan Journal. To my readers, I apologize - deeply - but this month has been crazy. I won't go in to any details, but suffice it to say that I miss unwinding every Friday with a new tale of something peculiar.

Christmas, for those of you who are culturally disposed to celebrate it, is supposed to be a time of giving, reflection, and bonding with your loved ones. As one might have guessed, I have no attachment to the holiday season, and as an American, the religious significance is all but lost, instead replaced often by crass consumerism, stress-related illness, and financial strife.

Yet when I hear stories such as this, I am given some hope for mankind. Then again, when you take into account these statistics, anything seems optimistic.

So consider this my gift to the World Wide Web: This blog, which I intend to resume after the start of 2011, has been the fruit of my mind for sometime. Sure, it might not bring "good Will towards man" or unite any families, but it's a start.

World Wide What? Dec. 15

Sorry I haven't been around. The Holidays inevitably cause all sorts of havoc on my schedule. In the meantime, here is a little something amusing...

Medical and Doctor Slang How accurate this is, I can't say. But having spent more time in hospitals than I care to admit, it really makes you wonder...

Just Something To Think About...

Kent M. Keith, "The Paradoxical Commandments":

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs, but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

People need help, but may attack you if you do help them. Help them anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

Something New: "World Wide What?"

I've been kicking around a new idea. The Internet, for better or worse, is loaded to the brim with strange websites and other unforeseen oddities. With that in mind, I've been thinking about posting some of the weirdness I find here. I present to you a few links of note...

Found Magazine: Strange notes, pictures, and other bits. A true example of the "Found Art" concept. This website will repulse, compel, warm the heart, and boggle the mind. Well worth clicking around!

RandomPics.net The name says it all. You can lose a lot of time on this website.

This should keep you going for a bit. More to come!

Outside The Box, Part III

For our final trip down the proverbial rabbit hole of Thought Experiments, it's time we get inside the box, in a manner of speaking. Of the countless potentials for Thought Experiments, this particular example calls for the greatest ability for mental Yoga.

Imagine, for a moment, that there is a box which is opaque. The only way to see inside is to open the lid. Inside this structure is a a vial of a highly toxic substance, generally listed as hydrocyanic acid. Next to the vial of acid is a radioactive substance. Positioned nearby is a Geiger Counter, which when it detects radiation, causes the the vial of acid to break. Topping off this peculiar set-up is a cat. Now, the Geiger Counter is on, and the lid is sealed. What happens?

Presumably, one of two outcomes: The vial is broken by the Geiger Counter (given the radiation inside the box), and the cat is killed. The only other outcome is that the Geiger Counter never registers the radiation, and the cat lives.

So, is the cat alive or dead?

The only way to know for sure is to open the box. At this point, we can determine the state of things but we cannot know anything until then.

This argument is a classic in the world of Quantum Physics known as Schrodinger's Cat. The point of the arguments is best described by Erwin Schrodinger himself. "It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a "blurred model" for representing reality. In itself, it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks." This experiment has been the subject of countless arguments, articles, and pieces of fiction since it was written initially in the German magazine Naturwissenschaften in 1935.

The two most common outcomes of the Schrodinger's Cat experiment fall to the "Copenhagen Interpretation" as set forth by Niels Bohr and the "Many Worlds" model of Hugh Everett. Bohr believed that all situations were relative to observation and could thereby simply be determined by opening the box, and that no real conclusion could be drawn or theorized otherwise. Everett, on the other hand, would have argued that the conclusion was that the cat would be both dead and alive. The "Many Worlds" view would say that the instant the box was closed, two points diverged, one in which the cat would be killed, and the other where the cat would survive the encounter. These two separate worlds would split off and go forward into their logical futures.

There have been many arguments made regarding this experiment. An earlier version of the experiment that was posed to Albert Einstein by Schrodinger replaced the acid with active gunpowder and a detonation method. Einstein's response, when addressing Schrodinger in a 1950 letter, was illustrating the point of other scientists and Schrodinger. "Most of them simply do not see what sort of risky game they are playing with reality—reality as something independent of what is experimentally established. Their interpretation is, however, refuted most elegantly by your system of radioactive atom + amplifier + charge of gunpowder + cat in a box, in which the psi-function of the system contains both the cat alive and blown to bits. Nobody really doubts that the presence or absence of the cat is something independent of the act of observation."

Minor Delay

Good Friday, my friends!
Due to some unexpected things coming up, I will be posting a full blog tomorrow, rounding out the "Outside The Box" series. Hope to see you all then!

Outside The Box, Part II

(Last week, we touched on the principle of Though Experiments, a method by which people can test and draw conclusions on things that can be impossible to test in laboratory conditions. This week, we dip again into this irrational pool.)

There seems to be no way to measure the nature of the human experience. The definition of "real" hinges largely upon the individual and the sort of world-views that they have. But can that really be trusted?

The center of the "human condition" is ultimately The Brain; the all-powerful bundle of nerves and tissue that dictate every facet of life. Even in the so-called "lesser animals," the brain gives light to everything in the surrounding world. The only thing that seems to really stop the brain are biological conditions. In a brain where there are no organic problems, the human mind is capable of creating new concepts and learning new things that an alarming rate. With repetition, the brain forms new synaptic connections which allow for greater depth and clarity of action and reasoning. But the brain's greatest strength is also it's biggest weakness - Organic construction and chemo-electrical signals are seemingly the only thing that brain really functions on.

For this reason alone, more skeptical people could argue that we cannot know with any certainty that anything we have experienced or encountered is, in fact, real. This realization has led philosophers to create a thought experiment that is horrifying yet amusing in it's implications: "The Brain In A Vat." By indulging in this exercise, we are allowed to ask ourselves questions regarding the very nature experience itself, and the potential for the malleability of simply being alive.

The experimental set-up, though hypothetical one, requires so stretching of the imagination. In theory, we would have to imagine that there is a setting like a laboratory where it is capable to suspend a brain in a fluid capable of nourishing it's tissues and keeping it alive. As well, it would require an electrical system and subsequent rig that would allow for precise electrical signals to be sent directly to very specific portions of the structure of the mind, allowing for a exact facsimile of the standard senses and memories. Presuming we are capable of this sort of place and technology, place yourself in the position of the brain. At this point, ask yourself this: "What do we know to be true? How many of our memories can be relied upon?"

Have you tasted a food so delicious that it could be described as "better than sex?" Under the parameters of this experiment, it is wholly possible to presume that your tongue (if you had one in the first place) never actually did. For that matter, if you did have a tongue that tasted something that good, how can you trust that you were actually eating it in the first place? This also begs the question: What does sex feel like, in these parameters, presuming that you are no longer (or potentially are not now) physically equipped for such an activity?

Under the scenario of the "Brain In a Vat," how can we guarantee that anything we have ever known is an actuality? If all experience can be broken down to chemistry and electricity, what are we as a species? It would nearly preclude the existence of a Soul, let alone the certainty of any sort of physical life experiences.



Come back next week and we will take one last look at this strange world. I strongly recommend you open your mind as widely as possible for next time; it's a mind-bender.

Outside The Box, Part 1

When people find themselves at an stalemate with the physical world, there are multiple avenues to choose from. Given the modern world's disposition towards hard evidence, The Scientific Method has proven itself time and time again to be the best logic for dealing with most things that are misunderstood. Without it, the modern understanding of Chemistry, Physics, and Biology might not be possible. Further, nearly anyone with the inclination and time can learn from the work of others and should they have the available resources, perform the research and experiments themselves.

However, Science has it's limits. Some things cannot be measured. Other factors or circumstances cannot be tangibly produced. Finally, there are some experiments that, ethically speaking, would be viewed as reprehensible or inexcusable even "in the name of Science."

Thought Experiments exist to let people draw conclusions regarding these hard situations, think critically, or work on tangible solutions to the intangible. Moreover, they serve to stimulate an individual to think as a philosopher or scientist, making them exercises valuable to both layman and experts alike. With the mode of Thought Experiments, the only limitation that exists is the conscious ability of the experimenter, and no situation can be viewed as too absurd or unlikely to be put to test.

Named for the alleged founder of the Athenian city-state, the Paradox of Theseus asks a question that is extremely difficult to quantify: Identity. According to legend, the ship that he used to return the young of Athens to it's home shores was preserved for multiple generations. As a matter of duty, the Athenians would replace the timbers and materials used to build the vessel as they would decay. While the notion of repairing historical items is not all that strange, it begs a basic question: At what point does something stop being what it is claimed to be? If all of the original timbers are no longer in place, is it actually the ship of Theseus? This experiment is sometimes also called "Grandfather's Axe," or "George Washington's Axe." According to popular history, the first president of United States was notorious skillful at felling trees with an axe, and would use what he called his "grandfather's axe," despite the handle and axe-head having been replaced multiple times.

The consequences of such a question can be immense. Is identity solely linked to the body of an individual? If the mind were to be transplanted into the body of another, would that person still be themselves? Is your home still your home if you were to systematically replace every piece of construction with an identical replica?

Come back next week for a much more unique stretch of the mind!

Preview for Friday, November 19th

What do an American President and a mythical Greek have in common?

Think about it.

Anything? If not, come back on Friday so we can chat.

Cane Fighting - Excerpt - E.W. Barton Wright

Self-defence with a Walking-stick: The Different Methods of Defending Oneself with a Walking-Stick or Umbrella when Attacked under Unequal Conditions (PartI)

Introduction

It must be understood that the new art of self-defence with a walking-stick, herewith introduced for the first time, differs essentially from single-stick or sword-play; for a man may be a champion in the use of sword or single-stick and yet be quite unable to put a walking-stick to any effective use as a weapon of defence. The simple and sufficient reason to account for this is that both in single-stick and sword-play a cut is always taken up by the hilt of the weapon, whereas if you attempted to guard a blow with a walking-stick -- which has no hilt -- in the same way as you would with a sword, the blow would slide down your stick onto your hand and disable you. Therefore, in order to make a stick a real means of self-defence, it has been necessary to devise a system by which one can guard a blow in such a way as to cause it to slide away from the hand instead of toward it, and thus obviate the risk of being disarmed by being hit upon the fingers.

After some fifteen years of hard work, such a system has been devised by a Swiss professor of arms, M. Vigny. It has recently been assimilated by me into my system of self-defence called "Bartitsu."

In the art of self-defence with a walking-stick, the stick is held in the hand with the thumb overlapping the fingers, and not, as in single-stick or sword-play, with the thumb resting on the blade. The stick is therefore manipulated with the wrist -- and not with the fingers as in sword-play -- and the blows are given by swinging the body on the hips -- and not merely by flips from the elbow. In this way blows can be made so formidable that with an ordinary malacca cane it is possible to sever a man's jugular vein through the collar of his overcoat.

Read More! E.W. Barton Wright on Stick Fighting

Please Allow Me To (Re)Introduce Myself...

Good Morning (or Evening or Afternoon, wherever you are) to readers of T.O.J. -

I've spent this week, and will spend most of next week, working on topics for the rest of the year. You'd be surprised at what a task this can be. It's not that there are a lack of subjects that interest me but that there are too many and I often have no clue where to start. It's a big world, and with every new country that shows up in my Blogger-Stats, I am reminded of that fact.

So I thought I'd take a few minutes today to share with you (or for those of you who have been regular readers, re-share) what this blog is about, where it is currently, and what visions I have for it's future.

When I began this blog in May-June of this year, I had very few stated goals. I began this blog with the primary intention of getting myself back to writing on a regular basis. It shows in my early articles that I had been away from a regular writing project for sometime, and do feel much more relaxed and confident as a writer now, so I can say that thus far, I can assign that to the "Mission Accomplished" list. My secondary purpose was detailed in my Statement of Intent entry: I wanted to bring back the Weirdness into the world. So after discussing ritualized suicide, eerie androids, and the history of coffee, I think I've made good on that promise.

So what does all of this mean for T.O.J. and the link to said Weirdness that it provides? Well, I've been thinking about that...

The fact of the matter is that I've had some big hits and giant misses. For instance, the entry Four Gods still manages to bring in viewers. Yet Obscure Tweet and it's cousin at Tumblr...not so much. I'm not one for Twitter, and while I like Tumblr's layout and format, it just hasn't been something I've enjoyed using for T.O.J. and really almost isn't worth going further with.

So I am, as of now, looking at the future of this blog and what I would like to do with it. As it stands, my plans with this site are tentative, and I have nothing set in stone. My goal is to eventually grow this into it's own free-standing site. I would like to develop a website not only for myself, but one where I could potentially bring on other writers, especially if they would be willing to cover specific areas (strange politics from around the globe, world music craziness, that sort of thing) and to where I would have more than just a text box with a few pictures. I am, at heart, a writer, so this is something I will stick with.

If nothing else, I've had a lot of fun. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled program next Friday barring any tragedies. In the mean-time, I have planning to do...

Cheers to you, my readers!

Bodies of Song

Common wisdom holds that music is a universal language. Every culture seems to share the use of voice or creation of instruments with which to create melody and manipulate sound. One distinction, however, can be made that seemingly few pieces of music, when compared to the amount that is recorded over any given year, will stretch across time and touch people in other generations. In the case of Europe, or it's descended cultures, classical composers such as Beethoven, Handel, and Bach have enjoyed most of the limelight in terms of historical longevity. Popular music, on the other hand, seems to come and go without notice.

But an exception to this rule seems to exist within the world of Jazz. There is a catalog of songs that nearly all Jazz musicians and singers are able to perform, commonly called Standards. These tracks help to form the basis of Jazz as a genre as well as a musical technique. Songs such as "When The Saints Go Marching In" and "In A Sentimental Mood" have been played, altered, and recorded for many years, and likely will not disappear.

One song, however, holds a deeply unusual place; a piece of music with lyrics that often don't match the tune, almost deranged in it's happy mood when considering it's subject matter. It was originally known as "Die Moritat von Mackie Messer." It's best known today by it's adopted and accepted title: Mack The Knife.

The origin of the song lies in the hands of a pair of musicians and Socialist commentators: Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill. Brecht and Weill began performing a show in Berlin called The Threepenny Opera during 1928, shortly before the rise of Nazism. The inspiration for the show was an 18th century musical known as The Beggar's Opera which was a commentary on the state of the British monarchy. Like so many others in showbiz, Brecht and Weill updated the show's premise to reflect the world of Post-WWI Germany, but in this transformation, a sharp and ugly thing occurred. In The Beggar's Opera, the character Macheath was a dashing hero in the spirit of Robin Hood. Under the satirical gaze of Brecht, Macheath went from a romantic thief to that of a violent sadist who killed children, raped young widows, and would be described in his introduction as more like a shark than a man. In an irony fitting of Weimar Republic-era Germany, the song was not initially slated to be in the show - it was added to sate the vanity of it's original performer.

The Threepenny Opera was performed over 1,000 times by the time the duo of Brecht and Weill had left Germany in 1933. Little did they realize how one song, written almost as a joke, would leave an indelible mark on music history.

What is interesting about "Mack The Knife" is how it has mutated over the years. In it's original form, the song is not a happy one. Here it is performed in it's original German by Christopher Lee:



This version falls into sharp contrast with how it is best remembered. Beloved singer Bobby Darin in many ways made a career off of the song, and Jazz Legend Ella Fitzgerald received awards and accolades for her rendition. In yet another ironic twist, during her star-making performance of the song, she forgot the lyrics and had to ad-lib her way through it in Berlin.



Yet most modern performances that are not in the mold of Darrin or Fitzgerald have attempted, through this generation's darkened filters, to bring the song closer to it's original intention. For the film and subsequent album September Songs: The Music of Kurt Weill, singer-songwriter Nick Cave performs "Mack The Knife" with a nearly-demonic aplomb.



The myth of Mack The Knife, a serial killer with a body count matching many actual modern madmen, is is fixed within the soundtrack of Western Culture. The only thing remaining to be seen is who next unearths his murder ballad and releases it back into the ears of an unsuspecting world.

October 31st

Happy Halloween!

The Best Of The Worst?

Something in the nature of horror film genre lends itself towards parody. By design, horror films tend towards being serious, but when the budget or talent involved cannot match the seriousness of a film-makers artistic vision, disaster is almost certain to ensue.

For many fans of "B-Moves" and other assorted schlock, the pinnacle of the Good-Bad ("it's so bad it's good") Cinema was set by Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space. This film starred Bela Lugosi in his final roll, clearly nearing the end of his life and horribly addicted to pain killers, as well as horror stalwart and former professional wrestler Tor Johnson. The movie existed on a tiny budget, and Ed Wood's wild creativity could never compensate for his general lack of talent as a director. But for the virtually endless list of flaws that the movie suffers, Plan 9 is not without a certain well-meaning though weird charm. This does not excuse it as an artistic exercise; it is hardly a "cinematic achievement" by any stretch of the phrase, it did however dominate the position of "The Worst Movie Ever Made" in the minds and hearts of movie fans for decades.

But little did any of these devoted cinemaphiles know that something far worse was waiting to reach it's icy grip from the past and strangle Plan 9 into submission. No one would could have prepared for what was re-released like a Lovecraftian nightmare onto the world on January 30th, 1993.

The much-beloved television show Mystery Science Theater 3000 is known for it's unique format: take B-grade (or below) horror, science fiction, and drama films from the 1950's up to the 1980's and verbally skewer them for a television audience. On the aforementioned January date, the show aired an episode featuring the 1966 independent film Manos: The Hands of Fate. (And for those who have multi-lingual inclinations, the title of the film would translate to Hands: The Hands of Fate.) This episode would re-introduce an unsuspecting world to a film so profoundly bad that it would seemingly confound and unnerve even the cast of MST3K and would later go on to be described by the episode guide released by the show as the worst film that they covered yet one of the most popular episodes in the series' canon.

While the very notion of a television show devoted to bad movies being bothered by this movie paints a very vivid image, Manos must be seen to be believed. It is a movie so profoundly awful that it borders on surreal. The history of this strange piece was is one story that is doomed from it's very inception. In the case of most bad bits of cinema, there are generally only a few factors that can be blamed for a movie's demise. In this case it is a veritable cocktail of ruin: No budget, wooden acting, non-existent directorial skill, bad recording equipment, under-developed plot, pointless dialog, irrational editing choices, and a veritable Infernal Host of other factors that makes Manos devoid of any redeeming feature. Arguably it's worst feature, however, lies in it's writer/producer/director/lead male actor Hal P. Warren. His plot, that of a small family being terrorized by a coven of Luciferian polygamists and the groups Satyr Man-Servant, would have been an unremarkable but solid horror movie concept. Warren's sheer ineptitude in all of his listed capacities on the project combined with the other factors mentioned were a death-blow to the movie before it was even born.

None of it's cast would go on to any degree of notoriety. One member, who had been rumored to be plagued with personal problems prior to filming, committed suicide shortly after the film's release (though it has been joked that the movie is so awful that it could have a body count.) Hal Warren, in a nearly prophetic statement, would say that the after the film's quick and unceremonious death if the film's dialog could be re-dubbed, "it could be a comedy."

But like any manifestation of the Forces of Darkness, Manos: The Hands of Fate refused to die so easily. The power of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and it's devoted fan-base has given new life to the movie. In 2004, a trio of Canadian Film-makers released a documentary called Hotel Torgo after tracking down and interviewing Bernie Rosenblum, the stunt coordinator, electrical, and bit-part actor who is one of the last members of the cast and crew still alive to tell the tale of Manos.

So what did Hal P. Warren, suitably a fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas unleash upon us? Some people seem to view his film as a cinematic Crime Against Humanity. Others, perhaps with more of a pragmatic streak or sense of humor, view it as harmless and campy fun, or a cinematic cautionary tale. But this much is true: Manos: The Hands Of Fate lives. In 2011, filming of a sequel entitled Manos: The Search For Valley Lodge, begins filming in El Paso with a tentative release date of 2013.

Wanna Read More Of My Work?

Good Morning, My Readers!
I am pleased to announce that I am now a reviewer for The St. Louis Music Press, an up-and-coming Music, Concert, and Interview magazine.

Click here to read my review of the new self-titled release from Red Mass, and click here to read my review of Spirit Youth by The Depreciation Guild.

Also, the link to the St. Louis Music Press has been added to my list o' links.

Go!